The Hidden Cost Of Operating On Auto Pilot

Do you ever find yourself just going along on auto-pilot, not stopping to think what you’re doing or why you’re doing it? Ever forget why you walked into a room or why you agreed to a meeting? Ever wondered how you got to where you are now?

Yes? Chances are that you’re operating in autopilot. You’re also not alone.

A whopping 96% of the 3,000 people surveyed in a recent study commissioned by Marks & Spencer said they were living life on autopilot. The researchers concluding that our ‘mindless’ state has created an epidemic of non-engagement with the world and sub-conscious decision making. These reflexive autopilot decisions range from the clothes we wear each day to where we eat lunch to who we eat it with (including people whose company we don’t even like!).  Of course, some of the decisions we make on autopilot may be relatively inconsequential, but over the course of a life time our small ‘mindless’ decisions can have a big impact on the trajectory of our careers and the shape of our lives.

It found that the average Brit makes 15 decisions on autopilot a day — that’s more than 250,000 autopilot decisions in a lifetime – without truly thinking about them. Of course we are wired not to overthink our small daily decisions so we have enough mental capacity for the bigger ones. Yet, when we’re operating on auto pilot it can leave us sleep-walking through the choices we make and drifting down a path of least resistance. Experience has taught me such a path rarely lands us anywhere very inspiring.

Operating in autopilot means that our instinctive desire to gain pleasure and avoid pain sits at the helm. All fine and good in the moment. Yet taking the psychologically comfortable and familiar path, at least in the short term, can keep us from taking the very actions that would lead to greater professional fulfillment,  personal happiness and even financial security in the longer term.  Like saying yes to an invitation when, if we really stopped to think about it, we’d decline. In fact, the research found that we say ‘yes’ four times a day when we wish we hadn’t — to working late, to spending time with people we don’t really like or even to attending an event we have no intention of going to. Over the course of a life time, this adds up to 70,000 occasions in which we commit our time to something that isn’t necessarily aligned with what we are most committed to. Almost half of adults in the study (47%) admitted they say yes because they are loath to let people down and 37% said that saying yes is simply easier than saying no.  Which is true, at least in the short term!

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“Autopilot is a growing problem,” said Dr. Mark Williamson, Director of Action for Happiness and contributor to the study.  “It has gone from being an evolutionary protection mechanism that stopped our brains overloading, to our default mode of operating whereby we sleep-walk into our choices.  It has seeped into more and more areas of our lives and relationships making us feel out of control.

The impact of operating in ‘default mode’ can be steep. For instance, 76% of people in the study report not spending their time well, with one in five admitting to not properly listening to others when in autopilot mode.  Nearly half said they had forgotten something whilst on autopilot including birthdays, paying an important bill, and even picking the children up from school. Having forgotten my own husband’s birthday last year, I am glad to know it’s not just me!

“We are always on,” said Williamson. “Autopilot makes it harder for us to make instinctively good choices so we feel trapped, and that we’re living some-one else’s life.”

It explains why one of the biggest regrets people have at the end of their life is that they lived the life other’s expected them to live, not the one they wanted to live. Of course we each have our own individual autopilot mode that impacts our decisions in different ways. What is most important is making a conscious effort to notice what you’re doing, how you’re doing it and why you’re doing it.

The study identified three core archetypes — Pleasers, Pacers and Passengers — in order to help people recognise their own versions of autopilot.

• Pleasers: Pleasers are people who find it very hard to say anything other than yes that obligations pile up and the internal voice pleading them to say “no” gets drowned out.  By trying to please everyone they end up resentful of their to-do list and not focussing on what matters.   Combatting the instinct people pleasing response start by reviewing what you’ve got in your calendar and the next time someone asks something of you, tell them you’ll get back to them later. It will buy you time to think about whether you truly want to say yes and, if not, to muster up the confidence to decline with more grace, less guilt.

• Pacers: Pacers are always looking for what’s next! They pack as much as they can into their days and get so caught up in the gratification of doing that they disconnect from who they’re being. Combatting this default mode begins by taking time out to practice micro moments of mindfulness. Take a few deep breaths and to put aside time to be fully present to whatever you are doing, less distractions and interruptions.

• Passengers: Passengers are often just sliding along the course of least resistance, driven fare more by what scares us (disapproval, rejection, uncertainty) than by what inspires us. Their decisions are determined by whatever will be most convenient, least uncomfortable and least likely to risk disapproval in the moment. Subsequently, they’re often living life on everyone else’s terms and not their own. Combatting passenger mode begins by making a decision to regularly check in and ask yourself “ What do I really want to do right now?” If may well lead you away from the pack and along a road less travelled. Embrace the discomfort and do it anyway.

“It is within our grasp to liberate ourselves from life on autopilot if we notice what’s going on and purposefully create more positive habits. By understanding the problem, we can identify better everyday solutions,” said Williamson. So if you recognise yourself in any of the three archetypes above (or a little of each as I do), I encourage you to make a very conscious decision to start paying more attention to what you’re doing, be more thoughtful about why you’re doing it and adjust course accordingly. Over time small changes can lead to major shifts, not just in what you are ‘doing’, but to who you are ‘being’ as you do it.

It’s time we all took a long collective breath and decided to live our lives more purposefully, more intentionally, more mindfully. By design, not by default.

What you want most is riding on it.